I would like to thank Mayor Bloomberg and Joel Klein for canceling school at 11AM this morning. Remember this past Saturday, when NYC was going to be “pounded,” “slammed,” “walloped,” with snow (your verb here depends on which over-excited weather channel you were watching). Uh…we got less than an inch. Apparently, however, Mike-n-Joel have a direct line to the weather gods.
Now, okay, maybe tomorrow will be exactly what the weather folken are predicting: blizzard conditions by mid-afternoon, sleet, hail, icy rain, a veritable full monty of winter weather.
Joel Klein, who plays Maurice to Bloomberg’s King Julian, said that school dismissal tomorrow would be “complicated” by the weather.
Hmm. Complicated. You mean, like canceling school mid-week (three days before that hell known to public school parents as “the February break”)? Complicated. You mean, like when mommy and daddy have to go to work, along with all the other parents, so that frantic round of phone calls this afternoon all end up pointing at the one or two non-working or flexibly employed parents: “uh, do you think that Lulu could come over, just for a while, till I can get home..?” or “Would you mind if Mickey came over for a few hours in the morning…”
And what is that parent supposed to say? Go screw? Nope, it ends up being a kind of impromptu childcare nightmare, with lots and lots of DVDs and more than a smattering of Wiii.
Cuz of course, Bloomberg and Klein didn’t close city offices because of these potentially “complicated” conditions (a more cynical mind might suspect that this is their unofficial way of creating a pay furlough for tomorrow, when all the hourly workers take a “personal day” to handle the complicated condition of having their offpsring suddenly at home–but far be it for me to suggest such a thing). Nope, city workers and everyone else will have to face the complicated weather–the snow, ice, hail, slush, and maybe the occasional frog or locust, depending on the mood of the weather gods.
There will be fury among the elementary school set if it doesn’t snow; elaborate plans have been made for sledding and snow forts and a veritable blitzkrieg of snowballing. But me? I’m hoping that it emphatically does not snow, just so I can have the joy of watching Mike and Joel spend the day wiping egg off their faces.