Archive | August, 2010

A Jitney Myst’ry

Jitney season is winding down. If you live in New York, you know those big green “motor coaches” that rumble along the avenues, collecting weekenders and second-homers and hauling them east: the tonier south forkers towards the Hamptons, the rusticating north forkers towards Orient. (Long Island splits at its tip into two “forks,” north and south, with Shelter Island in the middle. The north fork is Long Island Sound; the south fork is the Atlantic. Thus North Fork and South Fork).

We’ve been to both forks in the last month–double-forkers, that’s us–and so we joined the throngs of jitney riders standing on the corner of 3rd and 40th. And that’s when I noticed: there were no kids waiting for the bus, other than my own squabbling pair. The first time, I sort of understood: we were riding the so-called “luxury liner,” which despite the overtones of White Star Lines, means only that you get a plug for your computer, and bins in the back of the bus filled with individual packets of cheez-its and chocolate chip cookies. 

On our way back from the East End, again on the luxury liner, and again: no kids but ours. Some truly sophomoric men (usely the term loosely) sat in front of us and cackled about cute girls on facebook, but there were no actual chronological children on the bus.

Then, on a subsequent weekend, we were again waiting for the jitney–the regular ol’ green bus jitney–to go to the North Fork. A definitively more down-scale crowd all-round, and no bottomless bin of chocolate chip cookies, much to the boys’ disappointment.  But again: they were the only kids. Going out and coming back. 

Friends who ride the jitney report the same thing: they are a seemingly child-free zone.

And yet, I see children on the beaches of both forks.  How’d they get there? Are they shipped with the baggage (and why didn’t I think of doing that)?  Is there some unwritten rule that people traveling to one or the other fork with kids must do the train-switch sprint, kids in tow, through the hellishly crowded train station in Queens?

It’s a mystery. Because let’s face it: unless you’re traveling on, like, Beyonce’s motor coach, a bus is a bus is a bus. I don’t care how many packets of cheez-its you give me, it’s still a bus. Not a glam way to travel. Those jitneys should be crawling with kids, while the glam-forkers whisk out east on the train, or the ferry, or some other more eleganza conveyance.

Clearly, our friends on the forks should continue to invite us out for visits on a regular basis (I’m thinking weekly) so that I can continue this jitney-based research.

Read full story · Comments { 1 } on August 29, 2010 in Children, NYC

Happy Birthday, #19!

90 years ago, women were (finally) given the right to vote.

Suffragists started advocating for the vote just after the Civil War, in what was for many women a continuation of the campaign to end slavery.  More than fifty years after the end of the war, the government finally decided that women were citizens, and altered the Constitution accordingly. A radical act, right? Deciding that women could participate in the political life of their country?

Anti-suffragists claimed, among other things, that women might cheat in elections by stashing extra ballots in their puffy-sleeved blouses;  confusingly, they also claimed that women were far too child-like to be responsible voters:

Let’s ignore the weirdness of this doll-faced child talking about her husband, shall we? Here’s another, much more direct anti-suffrage poster: 

Now, with almost a century of hindsight, these arguments look ridiculous to us; it’s easy to forget how terrified anti-suffragists were about moving away from the status quo. We should stay the way we are because that’s the way it’s always been. Change is bad (unless we’re talking about that pesky 14th amendment, right Mr. Boehner?)

Hmm… women voting is a menace to the home…

and homosexual sex is a menace to national security.

How would that happen, exactly? A woman has sex with a woman and suddenly the entire military-industrial complex goes into a state of cardiac arrest?  Yowza.

So on this 90th anniversary of women shouting loudly in order to be heard, here’s hoping that we won’t have to wait fifty years for signs like this to be tossed on the scrap heap of history.

Happy Birthday, Amendment 19.

Read full story · Comments { 0 } on August 26, 2010 in Feminism, Politics

LoseIt!

Dammit. Fooled again.

Someone told me my iPhone could help me lose weight, so I downloaded this new app, called LoseIt.

I thought all I had to do was rub it across my muffin-esque belly and voila! I’d be all Heidi Klum.

Ha. Apparently it’s just an app that helps me do stuff like, you know, keep track of calories and exercise.

BORING BORING BORING. 

That’s not an app. That’s a diet.

I’m totally deleting it.

Read full story · Comments { 1 } on August 25, 2010 in tech life