And a Happy Valentine’s To You, Too

So it was Valentine’s Day the other day, which on the elementary school level apparently translates to EAT CANDY. When did Valentine’s become a kind of red heart-shaped Halloween-esque sugar fest?

Lest I overlook the dangers of too much sugar, my Firefox browser popped me a little memento mori:

Well, shit. When you put it that way, I guess I could say no to polishing off that box of chocolates.

Of course, if I’m gonna die today, then what better way to go than with chocolate absinthe truffles smeared across my face?