Monday’s Listicle: Things That Make You Go “hmm…”

The Sisterhood chose the listicle topic for today: “things that make you go hmmm.”  If you don’t know the Sisterhood, you should; they’re exactly the kind of people you’d like to have on vacation with you, in part because they’re so good at finding the “hmmm” in everything. I keep asking them to adopt me but they mutter something about having too many kids, and I’m too far away, and so the best I can hope for is to join their lists.  Make sure you click over to Stasha’s site and see what else makes people say “hmmm.”


1. Sylvester Stallone selling . . . fine pens? You know that Sly, he never gets credit for being intelleckshual.

2. How the windows in my fifty-story apartment building get washed:

Apparently, the little scaffolding platform that they used got stuck too often, including once last month when it crashed through someone’s apartment window.  So now we get these window-washing rappelling guys who are being belayed by these guys down on the street.  Not precisely confidence-inspiring, is it?

3. This house, in a compound way outside of town. All the houses in this brand-new compound are dust-colored: beige, tan, brown. Except this one, which takes up most of the block, and whose owners seem to have purchased every single lawn doodad in the shop: fake urns? check. playground equipment? check. plaster stag-head, “rock” waterfall, plastic swans? check, check, and check.

4. The dosage instructions for Liam’s antibiotics, because scrawled instructions on the side of the box are so professional:

5 & 6 are things that make me say “ewwww” rather than “hmmm:”

7.  This also makes me say “ewww” but with a slightly different emphasis:

It’s what happens to cheese if you leave it in the car for about 15 minutes while you run into another shop.

8. Speaking of cheese, here’s another “hmm:” Wisconsin’s failure to recall Scott Walker. Given that Wisconsin is where the Progressive movement started (Robert LaFollette ran on the Progressive Presidential ticket in 1924; he was also an outspoken critic of corporate involvement in politics) and given the state’s long history of liberalism (yes, I said the L-word), Walker’s policies are all the more shameful, as is his debt to the Koch brothers.  I know many of you cheese-heads worked like dogs to oust this guy but I’m wondering how those of you who voted to keep Walker in power justify that decision? Do you think the Brothers Koch will be sending you million-dollar checks any time soon? Let me know how that goes, m’kay?

9.  This ad, in the Marks & Spencer mall near our house. Does Ryan need the money? I dunno, but he sure is nice to look at while I shop:

10.  These “toys” I saw being sold in a “bookstore” (or at least, a store that sold book-related products).  Really shows girls how to aim high, professionally speaking, don’t you think?

And if your little princess should get tired of top trends, here’s the companion volume:

11. And because I’m not always a crotchety old lady, I throw in a bonus “hmm…”  Not all “hmm” has to be bad, right? This bird lives with his family in the shrubs near where I go to yoga. When I walk by this fine feathered fellow on my way to class, I say to myself, “hmm….life here in the desert ain’t all bad.”

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14 Responses to Monday’s Listicle: Things That Make You Go “hmm…”

  1. Arnebya June 11, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

    10. I’m laughing b/c while yes, on the surface these books are just crap, my daughter has drawn clothes since she was able to hold a pencil correctly. She’s 11 now and still carries a sketchbook everywhere she goes, just for clothes, shoes, and accessories. She’s used Stardoll occasionally to get ideas, but the part where they can dress up stars, change their hair, etc., that creeps me out. She’d actually love that book if it let her draw her own designs onto people.I think because she’s never been a follower I’m ok with the book not attacking her sense of self. I have, however, told her she should certainly shoot for business classes. Why be “just” the designer?

    • Deborah Quinn June 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm #

      I used to LOVE paper dolls. For some weird reason the British designer Mary Quant had a whole series of paper dolls that I wished I’d kept – fantastic “mod” designs…they were great. And YAY for your daughter’s designing eye – that’s great. These books just look to me like they’re suggesting the most anyone can be is, like, Rachel Zoe or someone (something?) like that. I expect to be seeing your daughters designs somewhere down the line… : )

  2. Just Jennifer June 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm #

    That window washing stuff is crazy. I hope they get hazard pay!

  3. Wayne June 11, 2012 at 10:16 pm #

    A very interesting list you have there.

  4. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms June 12, 2012 at 5:31 am #

    Great list. Thank you for soothing me with the pic of Ryan after freaking me out with the window washer. I might have to request dirty windows.

    The house and the yard junk was crazy. And good lord, the cheese. I think I would walk around wrapped in a an ice pack.

    We keep telling you, if you feed yourself AND clean up after yourself, you’re in!! Although the heat might be getting to you, if you still want to go on “vacation” with us after reading our recent posts. 😉 Ellen

    • Deborah Quinn June 13, 2012 at 8:43 am #

      Well, not wrapped in ice packs – but at the Madonna concert (which was outdoors) there were booths all around the venue selling (for a pittance) “cold towels.” Wet towels kept in freezers … bliss on a hot sticky night. Weird, weird, weird.
      And I have to say your vacation posts make me laugh and laugh. Which is really the only weapon any of us has, right?

  5. Stasha June 12, 2012 at 9:01 am #

    Hmmm… I can relate to so many of these. And as someone who studied politology I always feel bad when I read you posts and I get lost. Because I believe my brain has gone to much and I can only converse with a 4 year old. Shame really cause you have a such valid points. I just have to read it three times and concentrate hard. You really should come visit me.

    • Stasha June 12, 2012 at 9:02 am #

      MUSH not much. Honestly!!

    • Deborah Quinn June 13, 2012 at 8:45 am #

      Oh dear. My mom said once “well…your posts are really LONG…” and I think she meant – god you’re verbose lady, shut the hell up and get to the point. I would love to come visit and spend time with you, your horse, your dog, and your amazing child – who is so wise and lovely. Oh, and I hear there’s a husband around too, who occasionally fills (empties?) the dishwasher? : )

      • Stasha June 13, 2012 at 8:51 am #

        That is just a rumor. I swear no one except me knows the location of the dish washer in my house.
        And your posts are perfect. I just always have to google the political stuff, Which is sad since it was my major. Apparently brain is preoccupied with random fact on whales and volcanos.

  6. Ado June 12, 2012 at 6:35 pm #

    Okay, wow.
    The lawn doodads! Ha ha!
    And Liam’s antibi’s – I read: “1 drop bitch” that’s what I read ! (-:
    I didn’t know you live in a 50 story building! Wow

    • Deborah Quinn June 13, 2012 at 8:47 am #

      the lawn doodads killed me. Especially bc the “lawn” is basically green sod that gets unrolled and put down over sand. Sometimes the grass roots and actually grows, but people out here (some of them, anyway) have enough money that they kind of replace the grass the way you might replace a worn-out carpet. Just roll up the old stuff and spread out a new layer. The whole thing – bright yellow house, bright green lawn, bright lawn crap – surreal.

  7. Lady Jennie June 13, 2012 at 10:47 am #

    I’m showing my ignorance here but who is that other woman next to Palin? She looks familiar. She’s probably someone really famous and I am a dork. (And everyone reading this comment, just know that I live in France so I have some small excuse. Although Deb lives in Dubai so ….)

    In Taiwan workers used to climb up several stories of bamboo scaffolding wearing their flipflops.

    • Deborah Quinn June 13, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

      Not the best picture of woman #2, but that’s Michelle Bachmann, who ran for president for a little while until the country found out she was batshit crazy. She makes Palin look like an intellectual. Scary monsters, eh?
      Flipflops in the scaffolding, sure, why not. What you can’t see in my picture here is that these workers, dangling the hell off the ground, are wearing hard hats like you wear on a construction site. I want to say guys? um…if you start to fall, that hat is SO not going to save your skull. It just gives me utter shivers, the whole thing.

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