Listicles: NOISES OFF

Stasha asked for sounds that annoy us this week…and I have to confess: I’m kind of a noise nazi. I think my aversion to loud noises has gotten worse as my children grow in decibelage; it’s at the point now that if they’re not home, I don’t even turn on music. I bask in the quiet.

1. The tinny sounds of computer games leaking out of my kids’ headphones when we’re on long car trips.

2. The sounds of computer games, period. Battle scenes, angry birds, bloops and blips and explosions…hate ’em all.

3. Did not. Did too. Did not. Did too. Did not. Did too. OW! MOM!

4. “Thank you for your patience. Our menu options have changed, so please listen carefully….Thank you for your patience, please continue to hold, our customer service representative will be with you shortly…thankyouforyourpatiencepleasecontinuetohold.”

5. People having phone conversations on the bus, plane, train, or other public place (other than the sidewalks of New York, which as we all know, are the most private places on earth).  None of us who don’t know you care about: your boyfriend/girlfriend/dog/mother/ dinner options/work problems. Please shut up, hang up, or both.

6. Um…like, bad speech habits, you know? Like, the way some people talk? I know, right? I mean, you know?

7. Marco. Polo! Marco. Polo! Marco. Polo!

8. Everything that happens at the dentist’s office, beginning with the receptionist saying “it’s been how long since your last checkup?”

9.  Sarah Palin’s voice. Ditto Michele Bachman’s.

10.  Car horns, especially in traffic where there is no chance of anyone moving an inch.

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One Response to Listicles: NOISES OFF

  1. Arnebya July 31, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

    I remember seeing a sign that declared a monetary fine for honking in traffic (was I in NY? NJ? Iono (that is my tribute to #6). When I play Scramble with Friends, I HAVE to have the sound on. Maybe it makes me feel special to hear the ca-ching as I rack up points against my husband. There is one drill in particular at the dentist’s office that makes me cringe and wish I had headphones. The people having conversations really only irk me if they’re being overly personal. I can tolerate dinner plans or checking on kids, but no one cares about your hemorrhoids’ refusal to respond to epsom salts. WHY DO YOU WANT YOUR CO-WORKERS ON THE SHUTTLE TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR BUTT? Also, try Preparation H Cooling Gel; it’s so much better.

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