parenting will make you nuts, but it’s not as bad as READING about parenting

…and when did “parenting” become a verb, anyway?  Time was, back in the day, a parent was a noun, and what you did was “raise” kids or “try not to drown” kids or “don’t lose the kids in the mall.”  But those were simpler times, I guess.

Probably–if you’re a parent–you have seen (but not yet had time to read because: parent) the spoof in The New Yorker that says “A recent study has shown that if American parents read one more long-form think piece about parenting they will go fucking ape shit.”

And baby, ain’t that the truth?  The only thing possibly worse than people (other than, perhaps, your own mother) telling you how to raise your kids are books telling you how to “be” a woman: lean in, lean out, dress up, don’t dress…. do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about.

Feh. Who has time.

The New Yorker spoof, which is satiric and hysterical (adult blinders, anyone?) got posted on my Facebook by lots of people. What I loved, however, is that in its infinite and non-ironic wisdom, FB linked those posts with a whole list of “related articles,” all of which were about. . . parenting. Just in case you hadn’t gone completely ape-shit, FB wants to finish the job:

 

Screenshot 2014-03-25 08.22.23

Speaking of ape-shit, can anyone explain to me why FB had to go and futz with its layout? I hate it.  Yes, oh snarky reader, I know that facebook is optional and I could turn it off, but we both know that’s just crazy talk and posturing on your part. Without facebook, whatever would I do? Write? Read? Exercise? Clean my damn house?  Feh, again.

So. Resolved: parent is a noun, not a verb; my children will be more or less successful adults, as are their parents and most of the other people in the world; facebook will continue to be my maddening addiction (which I guess is the nature of addictions. See: “Scandal,” “House of Cards,” “Game of Thrones,” marriage).

Onward.

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2 Responses to parenting will make you nuts, but it’s not as bad as READING about parenting

  1. Michelle Longo March 29, 2014 at 3:31 pm #

    I missed that spoof, but now I’m going to have to go read it! And I do find myself clicking through to these parenting articles in the hopes that one day I’ll find the magical one that makes every day a breeze. I’ll let you know when I find it.
    Michelle Longo recently posted..In The Zone.My Profile

    • Deborah Quinn March 31, 2014 at 5:45 pm #

      I think we all go surfing around looking for that article that will be the magic bullet — god knows I’ve done my share of ‘crowd-sourcing” for answers via Facebook, as well. And yet those articles play on that fear — and that belief, I think — that somewhere out there is the perfect answer, in much the same way that we used to think that somewhere out there was the perfect mate, who when we found him/her/it EVERYTHING would be all right. bwahahahahaaaa

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