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Abu Dhabi Tex-Mex: the secret of Maria’s kitchen

When we first moved to Abu Dhabi, I binged on Middle Eastern food: humus, moutabel, babaghanoush, tabouleh, chicken shwarma.  Yum.  And when I could no longer look a chickpea in the face, there were other foods to choose from…but I couldn’t find good Mexican food in a restaurant, and in the grocery stores, all I could find were the Old El Paso taco “kits,” replete with stale corn tortillas and “taco mix” made with an ocean’s worth of salt.

Then someone who lives in Abu Dhabi read my blog (imagine! an actual reader who isn’t my mother or my sister!) mentioned Maria to me, and then a friend in my building mentioned Maria, and then someone else mentioned “Maria…” They sounded like maybe they’d found the Grail—a Grail made of masa, chipotle, and black beans.

Maria doesn’t have a website or a restaurant or even one of those New York-style high-end food trucks.  She’s more like having a friend who also happens to be a fabulous chef. To order from Mari, someone has to give you her email address, then she sends you a menu, you  put in your order, and then once a week, you go collect your delicious, home-made Tex-Mex meals.

Maria’s salsa makes even rice cakes taste good

 

When I went to pick up my order, I had a moment of cultural confusion: sitting at a low table was a dimpled woman wearing bright-red lipstick and wearing full hijab: black abaya, black sheyla. She was checking orders and handling the money while three teen-age boys in dishdashes gathered each customer’s cartons and containers.  The food smelled delicious—but how on earth had an Arab woman learned to cook really authentic Mexican food? Continue Reading →

Read full story · Comments { 9 } on January 27, 2012 in Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi Discoveries, expat, food, NYC, Travel

they say there’s a product for every need…

So I’m in the pharmacy looking for shampoo and realized I don’t have what it takes to be an investigative journalist. A true journalist-minded person would’ve bought a box, just to bring it home and see what the hell is inside.

Given that conservative Islam, like so many other religions, is desperately concerned with women being virtuous (and virgins at the time of their marriage), I’m really curious about the properties of this gel.

Update: I spoke sternly to myself about my cowardice and marched back into the store the next day and bought myself some hymen gel. I mean, what if it’s a miraculous cure for under-eye bags, like what they say about Preparation-H? (full disclosure: my sister-in-law suggested this possibility) The package says “hymen gel is an all natural especially formulated herbal gel used as tightening and soothing gel.”  Hmm. The tube inside says it’s a “soothing gel and a lubricant gel.”  You apply the gel on the “intimate area” and then allow fifteen minutes for maximum effectiveness.

Which raises the question: wait fifteen minutes for what?

Is this the gel version of the Madonna song? Is the gel that will make us all “like a virgin, touched for the very first time?”

My sister-in-law, who is visiting us this week, rubbed some gel on her hand. We didn’t see any visible change in her skin, but now that hand is embarrassed to be seen naked.

Read full story · Comments { 3 } on January 23, 2012 in Abu Dhabi Discoveries, expat, UAE

purple glitter jesus

My gift to Husband this Christmas, purchased in a shop at the Mushrif Mall in Abu Dhabi:

Yes. That’s right. It’s a purple glitter Jesus. But it gets better. This purple glitter Jesus is also…

a bank.

Really what more could a person want in a holiday gift? Unless, possibly, it’s the matching turquoise glitter Virgin Mary bank. But hey, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.

Read full story · Comments { 3 } on January 10, 2012 in Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi Discoveries