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Day 1: Pitching

To pitch implies that someone will catch, don’t you think? So to pitch, from the very get-go, is itself a hopeful act.

And yet of course–as thousands of Hollywood wannabes could tell you–the hope of “pitch” almost always ends in despair, with the “not for us at the moment,” or “mmmm…we were thinking of going more with a JosswhedonjjabramsNOTYOU type” …

Or the plain “nope, hated it, don’t turn in your waitressing apron just yet, toots.”

To write a pitch for a piece of writing–to take alllll those words and boil them down to some kind of nugget–a nugget that someone will want to catch? Brutally hard.  You try it. Distill something you wrote into a sentence. Or take the sentence and boil it into three words.

I’ve embarked on the yeahwrite 31 Days to Build a Better Blog: at the end of July, this blog will be bionic, I swear, leaping tall buildings, ripping phone books in half with its bare hands; it’s going to be a lean, mean, blogging machine.

But first I need a pitch.

The tagline for this blog is “perpetually ambivalent New Yorker…now living in Abu Dhabi, UAE.”  I’m going to drop the UAE because let’s face it, no one really knows what the hell those letters stand for anyway, and everyone already thinks that Abu Dhabi is Dubai, so whatever.  I can’t drop “ambivalent” because that pretty much structures my entire psyche and while, yes okay, maybe I should work on that, July is about blogwork, not selfwork. So hands off my ambivalence.

But then we get to the whole “yeah, but what the hell is a mannahattamamma, anyway?”  No one wants to hear the story of finding the name for this blog, which involves long detours into Walt Whitman’s poetry (the opening lines from his beautiful poem “Mannahatta” were originally on the masthead of the blog), so that’s out. (Yes, originally I wanted Manhattanmamma, but someone had already bought the domain name, dammit.)

Okay, so I have sort of a tagline (perpetually ambivalent New Yorker … now living in Abu Dhabi) but I need that nugget-y bit.  Gist, pith, boiled-down essence,whatever you want to call it.

How about this:

Just after Arab Spring, a Manhattan mom left New York with her two young sons, her husband, several soccer balls, and eight thousand lego pieces in order to work as a literature professor in Abu Dhabi, on the edge of the Arabian Gulf.  As a New Yorker, Mannahattamamma chronicled the complications and comedy that emerged as she and her husband negotiated jobs, children, and New York’s public schools. In Abu Dhabi, Mannahattamamma still writes about family, politics,culture, and education, but her observations are filtered through the frequently absurdist lens of expat life in in a desert city where gold-plated cars and camels are equally common sights. Lawrence of Arabia it ain’t…but even so, life here still sometimes borders on epic.

That’s about 110 words. Might not be grabby enough, or funny enough. Might not be…enough enough.

What do you think? Comments in comments please? Be nice but be tough. And if your eyes have glazed over somewhere in the second paragraph…let me know (when you wake up).

IMG_8063

 man at a festival a few months ago

Continue Reading · on July 2, 2013 in Abu Dhabi, expat, NYC, Travel, Uncategorized, writing

Where I’ve Been

It’s July 1 today, which means that our summer holiday official starts in five days. Yes, America, my children are still in school and will be until July 4, when, with a touch of utterly unintentional irony, their British school officially ends for the year and sets them free.  I’ve spent much of the last month preparing to move, then moving, then recovering from the move and I’ve realized one thing:

Dante Aligheri never moved house, because if he had, at least one of the rings of hell in The Inferno would have been covered in bubble-wrap, cardboard, and packing tape.

In the meantime, although the pages and pages of the novel bouncing around in my head are…still in my head, I’ve written something for The National about the ridiculous driving here (an endless source of fear and amusement); posted a few times on BlogHer; written something for the World Mom’s Blog that should be out in a few days (and in the meantime you should go read the other stuff that’s posted there now); and written this short piece for the Yeah Write page. The amazing Erica, who also writes at freefringes, created the yeahwrite space as a place for good writing to thrive on the interwebz and this summer, she’s hosting something called “31 Days to Build a Better Blog.”  Some of the advice will be blog-specific, but some (like this piece by moi), is good advice for all writers.

I’m going to work through this 31 days thing; I figure if I can’t trim my actual physique, maybe I can whip this blog page into shape.  Stay tuned (I know, you can’t wait) for the daily blog exercises.  First up? I have to describe this blog in 100-150 words. I hate brevity. Brief is brutal. What did Mark Twain? You can have a three-page report on something in two weeks, or a ten-page report in three days.  If you’ve got suggestions, leave ’em in comments. Be nice.

In the meantime, two photos about moving. For Caleb, the upside of this:

boxes

Is that there are boxes to play with.  I think it’s a version of when life gives you lemons…  (And for those of you with small children in your lives, if you don’t know the two fabulous picture books Not A Box and Not a Stick, you need to find them & read them with your small fry.)

calebox

Continue Reading · on July 1, 2013 in Abu Dhabi, writing

I’m in two different places this week and I don’t even have a time-turner!

I don’t have a time-turner, but I AM turning back time this week.  Jamie, from My Chosen Chaos, has a great series on her blog called “If I Could Turn Back Time” (and yes, now YOU have the Cher song running through your head too).  She invited me to guest post in that series–and then reminded me that I’d agreed–and now my advice to my eighteen-year old self is up on Jamie’s blog.  So you should click over and read my advice to my younger self, think about your own younger self, and then click around on Jamie’s blog.  There is lots of good writing there to be discovered!  Thanks, Jamie, for the invitation.  Thinking about being eighteen again makes me wistful (to have all that still living still in front of me) and horrified (to go through all that crap again? no way!).  What would you say to your eighteen-year old self?

Also this past week, I was in an actual newspaper, with an actual column. And a by-line! You know, maybe that whole “death of print” thing is a little premature. Because being in print?  Exciting. More exciting, frankly, than hitting “publish” on this blog, even though I love doing that, too.  The UAE local paper is called The National, and my piece ran as a Comment essay.  You can read it here and then you should probably just go ahead and send the link to all your friends too, and maybe “like” it on facebook, too, while you’re at it.

It’s been a big week, although I’ve been distracted by work–can you imagine? a job? sheesh–and so have missed linking with Stasha’s listicles for the second week in a row (and thus missed this classic piece of advice: no woman has ever shot a man while he was doing the dishes. Sing it sistah!) Plus I only barely linked up with yeahwrite.  Bad, bad, blogger.  I’ll do better next week, promise!

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Continue Reading · on March 16, 2012 in Abu Dhabi

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