Tag Archives | UAE

in which I try to buy a new phone: phase one

So this happened:

IMG_6332

Did you know the sound of an iPhone screen hitting cement sounds remarkably similar to the sound of eggs cracking?  The lovely marimekko case I have for this phone, which Husband got for me in response to the fit of nostalgia I had in the New York marimekko store, is pretty but like so many pretty things is utterly impractical. Ol’ marimekko should stick to prints & stripes & fantastic housewares because this groovy case? Sucks. There’s no little ridge around the top to prevent the screen from whacking the ground.  And without the little ridgey-bit? Smashety-crackety crack crack.

Props to Apple, though: the screen was smashed but the phone still worked. But I started keeping it first in a baggie and then in an  ill-fitting plastic pouch, out of fear that some tiny shard of glass would work its way into my ear drum. Glass shard phobia led me to think to myself, “self, why not get yourself an iphone 5 because glass & ear canals are an unhappy partnership.”  So myself takes myself to the Etisalat kiosk at one of the malls around here (Etisalat, for those of you not in the know, is the UAE equivalent of Verizon. Or Sprint. Or ATT. Or whatever local branch of hell serves your particular cable needs).

Yep, that’s what I did. I went to the kiosk and got a new phone. End of story.

bwhaahahahaa

Think again, grasshopper.

 

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Read full story · Comments { 1 } on January 30, 2013 in Abu Dhabi, expat, technorati, UAE

Monday’s Listicle: Things That Make You Go “hmm…”

The Sisterhood chose the listicle topic for today: “things that make you go hmmm.”  If you don’t know the Sisterhood, you should; they’re exactly the kind of people you’d like to have on vacation with you, in part because they’re so good at finding the “hmmm” in everything. I keep asking them to adopt me but they mutter something about having too many kids, and I’m too far away, and so the best I can hope for is to join their lists.  Make sure you click over to Stasha’s site and see what else makes people say “hmmm.”

 

1. Sylvester Stallone selling . . . fine pens? You know that Sly, he never gets credit for being intelleckshual.

2. How the windows in my fifty-story apartment building get washed:

Apparently, the little scaffolding platform that they used got stuck too often, including once last month when it crashed through someone’s apartment window.  So now we get these window-washing rappelling guys who are being belayed by these guys down on the street.  Not precisely confidence-inspiring, is it?

3. This house, in a compound way outside of town. All the houses in this brand-new compound are dust-colored: beige, tan, brown. Except this one, which takes up most of the block, and whose owners seem to have purchased every single lawn doodad in the shop: fake urns? check. playground equipment? check. plaster stag-head, “rock” waterfall, plastic swans? check, check, and check.

4. The dosage instructions for Liam’s antibiotics, because scrawled instructions on the side of the box are so professional:

5 & 6 are things that make me say “ewwww” rather than “hmmm:”

7.  This also makes me say “ewww” but with a slightly different emphasis:

It’s what happens to cheese if you leave it in the car for about 15 minutes while you run into another shop.

8. Speaking of cheese, here’s another “hmm:” Wisconsin’s failure to recall Scott Walker. Given that Wisconsin is where the Progressive movement started (Robert LaFollette ran on the Progressive Presidential ticket in 1924; he was also an outspoken critic of corporate involvement in politics) and given the state’s long history of liberalism (yes, I said the L-word), Walker’s policies are all the more shameful, as is his debt to the Koch brothers.  I know many of you cheese-heads worked like dogs to oust this guy but I’m wondering how those of you who voted to keep Walker in power justify that decision? Do you think the Brothers Koch will be sending you million-dollar checks any time soon? Let me know how that goes, m’kay?

9.  This ad, in the Marks & Spencer mall near our house. Does Ryan need the money? I dunno, but he sure is nice to look at while I shop:

10.  These “toys” I saw being sold in a “bookstore” (or at least, a store that sold book-related products).  Really shows girls how to aim high, professionally speaking, don’t you think?

And if your little princess should get tired of top trends, here’s the companion volume:

11. And because I’m not always a crotchety old lady, I throw in a bonus “hmm…”  Not all “hmm” has to be bad, right? This bird lives with his family in the shrubs near where I go to yoga. When I walk by this fine feathered fellow on my way to class, I say to myself, “hmm….life here in the desert ain’t all bad.”

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Read full story · Comments { 14 } on June 11, 2012 in Abu Dhabi, expat, Monday Listicle, Politics, pop culture, UAE

the invisible labor of vacation

Our vacation in the Maldives a few weeks ago was perfect, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

It seemed as if we were in a natural paradise…but “natural,” these days, isn’t always what it seems:

There were no mosquitoes:

The beaches were clean and smooth:

There were lovely palm frond shelters around the pool and along the beach:

Someone walked around almost every evening at dusk and fumigated for mosquitoes; teams of men raked the beach in the early morning and late afternoon; these women sat for hours one day and wove new “native” shelters for the poolside cabanas.

One of the divers, Sabu, who led the snorkel trips had worked at Kandooma for four years. He, and a number of other workers, live on the island directly across the channel from the resort:

Sabu likes the Maldives, loves the water. But when he looks across the channel from his village to the resort, I don’t think he sees Paradise.

I think he sees a job.

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Read full story · Comments { 1 } on April 1, 2012 in Abu Dhabi, expat, Travel

I’m in two different places this week and I don’t even have a time-turner!

I don’t have a time-turner, but I AM turning back time this week.  Jamie, from My Chosen Chaos, has a great series on her blog called “If I Could Turn Back Time” (and yes, now YOU have the Cher song running through your head too).  She invited me to guest post in that series–and then reminded me that I’d agreed–and now my advice to my eighteen-year old self is up on Jamie’s blog.  So you should click over and read my advice to my younger self, think about your own younger self, and then click around on Jamie’s blog.  There is lots of good writing there to be discovered!  Thanks, Jamie, for the invitation.  Thinking about being eighteen again makes me wistful (to have all that still living still in front of me) and horrified (to go through all that crap again? no way!).  What would you say to your eighteen-year old self?

Also this past week, I was in an actual newspaper, with an actual column. And a by-line! You know, maybe that whole “death of print” thing is a little premature. Because being in print?  Exciting. More exciting, frankly, than hitting “publish” on this blog, even though I love doing that, too.  The UAE local paper is called The National, and my piece ran as a Comment essay.  You can read it here and then you should probably just go ahead and send the link to all your friends too, and maybe “like” it on facebook, too, while you’re at it.

It’s been a big week, although I’ve been distracted by work–can you imagine? a job? sheesh–and so have missed linking with Stasha’s listicles for the second week in a row (and thus missed this classic piece of advice: no woman has ever shot a man while he was doing the dishes. Sing it sistah!) Plus I only barely linked up with yeahwrite.  Bad, bad, blogger.  I’ll do better next week, promise!

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Read full story · Comments { 1 } on March 16, 2012 in Abu Dhabi

where do I live?

I live in a country where women who have sex without marriage are considered prostitutes, while men who have sex without marriage are considered “just doing what men do” and in many some cases hold government office or are celebrities.

I live in a country where abortions incredibly difficult to get, even in the case of rape or incest, unless you are wealthy and able to travel great distances to find a doctor.

I live in a country where money governs absolutely and low-wage workers are barely recognized by the legal system.

I live in a country that spits on the illegal immigrants who do the dirty and dangerous jobs that natives don’t want to do because it’s, you know, dirty.

I live in a country where skin color determines the quality of service you receive in a store, at a restaurant, at a hotel.

I live in a country where men’s voices are heard more loudly than women’s voices.

I live in a country where God gets invoked as justification for laws and policies that serve the rich and powerful, not the poor and meek.

I live in a country where the voices of reason and progress struggle to be heard over the voices of extremism and zealotry.

Here’s my question for you: am I talking about the United States or the United Arab Emirates? Lately it’s been getting more and more difficult to see the difference.

 

I’m linking this rant–inspired by Rush Limbaugh, Rick Santorum, the Tea Party, and an assorted cast of American right-wing zealots–to yeah write #48.  There are lots of other posts at yeahwrite this week who AREN’T ranting, so you should click through and read what they’re saying this week. Then come back on Thursday and vote for your three favorites!

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Read full story · Comments { 23 } on March 13, 2012 in Abu Dhabi, expat, Politics, ranting