Is “fake oreo” redundant?

I bought Oreos the other day as a special treat for Caleb, who’d gotten shoved on the playground and had to go to the nurse. (Yes, that would be me, equating food with love. Sue me.)

Alas, even in the scheme of injuries, Caleb this week came in second to his brother, whose head met a teammates’ foot during a soccer scrimmage last weekend.  Liam came home with a huge scrape and a lump the size of an ostrich egg on his forehead.  No concussion but as my father used to say, he definitely got his bell rung.

So. Oreos for the wounded.  I got the fancy kind – vanilla cookie on one side, chocolate cookie on the other side.

Tonight, as Liam ate his Oreos, he got up and looked at the ingredients list. See? I buy junk food but then teach my kids that it’s crap. I think they call this a mixed message.

Liam: I can’t even pronounce some of that stuff.

Me: I know, it’s mostly chemicals.

Liam: Well, these aren’t real oreos.

Me: They are Oreos, but with a vanilla side as well as a chocolate side.

Caleb: Ezzackly. Made by the same company.

Liam: No. These are not authentic Oreos.

Me: Authentic Oreos? The chocolate ones? It’s the same – same chemicals, same filling, one different flavor cookie.

Caleb: I like these ones better.

Liam: No. These are totally fake.  The real ones are much better. And healthier, because they’re real.

An “authentic” Oreo. What would Michael Pollan say to that?

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3 Responses to Is “fake oreo” redundant?

  1. Varda (SquashedMom) March 11, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    Well, we buy fake Oreos ALL the time… the “health food store” kind – Newman-O’s – made with NATURAL crap. Because if the sugar’s organic I only get to feel 1/2 as guilty about feeding it to my kids.

    Plus they give the profits to charity.

    Plus they make hint-o-mint flavor… wait, I think we have those in the house right now, excuse me, I gotta go check… yep, we got ’em.

    OK… now see what you made me do? (note: telltale cookie crumbs in corners of mouth)

  2. karen March 11, 2011 at 12:03 pm #

    I see you also bought Double Stuff Oreos. No judgments relating to the fact that you doubled the sugar cream filling, except that I think that the Double Stuff throws the whole cookie off-balance. In my humble opinion, the original Oreo has the proportions just right. The perfect cookie – cream combination. The only way to improve it? Why, to dip it in chocolate of course! Actually – my favorite store bought cookie is Chips Ahoy. At one point in my late teens/20s I was a sucker for those “soft baked” cookies. But eventually realized that those were really fake cookies and returned to my devotion to Chips Ahoy.

  3. Betsy March 12, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

    I’m sorry, someone SHOVED Caleb? That is unacceptable! When do we set our torches alight and get the vengeful mob on the road? The Oreos, fake or not, can wait- -Caleb must have justice!

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