Tag Archives | death

The Color Purple

I read Alice Walker’s novel The Color Purple when I was about fourteen, probably too young to understand its full complexity. All I understood was that the world conspired against Celie–and at fourteen, that’s sort of how the world felt to me, too.

With each re-reading of the novel, I saw more: the way that the form–an epistolary novel–drew on centuries of (white, European) literary tradition and challenged it at the same time; the fact that love between women challenged (and eventually dismantled) structures of male power; the joy and power that comes from finding work that matters, whether that work is singing jazz or making pants that fit women.

I’ve taught this novel a few times, and I love listening to students talk about what they discover in the novel, which still resonates, even now, more than thirty years after it was first published.

I was reminded about the novel’s power today, when I watched Jennifer Hudson and the cast of “The Color Purple” pay tribute to Prince, whose album “Purple Rain” came out two years after Walker’s novel.

I’m not alone–I’m one of millions, I suppose–when I say that Prince’s songs were the soundtrack of my youth. At the time, of course, I thought I was very, very adult, singing along to “I Would Die 4U,” or “Raspberry Beret…”  There was childlike joy in the music–the sheer ecstatic pleasure of making something–married to the very adult pleasures of the flesh.

His music floated out of dorm rooms and dance parties when I was at college in the early 1980s. College, for me, was a small women’s college outside of Boston, where The Color Purple was on lots of reading lists: all that female empowerment! On the weekends, the school held “mixers” — ghastly dances that drew men from surrounding colleges. Sometimes men from specific schools would be invited, sometimes men just showed up, but all of the men (okay, most) seemed certain that as inhabitants of a female-only world, we must be starving–nay, near unto death–for the lack of male company.  The standard conversation at a mixer often went something like “hey, how are you, my name is Jeff/Pete/Charlie/Biff…” and then after a few pleasantries, the question: “Is your roommate home?”  And that meant: would you please take me to your dorm room and let me see your little red love machine?

Much to the chagrin of Biff, Charlie, and Pete, we were frequently quite fine, thanks, without the pleasure of their company. Which is not to say that sometimes we didn’t make like darling Nikki and get ourselves a lil’bit of fun, but just as frequently–and often jump-started by Prince–my friends and I would dance towards each other, ignoring Biff’s entreaties. We danced, god did we dance; the boys couldn’t keep up and we didn’t want them to. Prince gave us permission to dance without worrying about what we looked like or who was watching; he gave us permission to move for the sweet pleasure of moving.

I haven’t remembered those dances in a long time. It took Prince’s death to remind me of the freedom we felt as we danced; the music made me feel like I could do anything.

Somewhere in The Color Purple, Celie writes “Everything want to be loved. Us sing and dance and holler, just trying to be loved.” Maybe that’s what Prince wanted to do in his music–be loved–but maybe, and more likely, I think he wanted us to remember to love each other–whenever, whomever, and however we wanted, in whatever fleshly and passionate fashion we could find.

Celie also tells us “I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.”  We couldn’t not notice Prince–not just his purple, of course, but the marvel of the creativity that streamed out of him, an amazing gift that I, at least, thought might never end.

Goodnight, sweet Prince. Nothing compares 2U.


Continue Reading · on April 22, 2016 in aging, Feminism, pop culture, sex

Listicles: In Honor of Nora, Who Told Us to Embrace the Mess

I’m one of those people who likes Nora Ephron’s writing more than her movies.  Her prose looks effortless, which is, of course, the hardest thing in the world to achieve, especially if you’re going to make people laugh. It’s way easier to make people cry than it is to make them laugh.

The only tiny upside to Nora’s dying a few weeks ago is that her writing was everywhere, including her lists of what she will and won’t miss when she dies.  It seemed like a no-brainer to suggest to Stasha that we use Nora’s lists as inspiration for our own lists, and in so doing, tip our hats to Nora. She didn’t like technology (and so probably never read a blog), but a blogger could do a lot worse than to use Nora as her writerly inspiration.

I wouldn’t miss:


Fox News

February in New York

Clarence Thomas. Also Scalia. Healthcare notwithstanding, not so keen on Roberts, either


Reality televison


Pro-lifers, ditto creationists

Perfume that stays in the elevator for hours after its wearer has gone

Plastic surgery and the cult of youth

Jerry Bruckheimer movies

I would miss:

My boychicks





The West Village in the early morning

The wumph of heat that hits you when you walk outside on an Abu Dhabi summer day

Dinner with old friends, new friends, Husband. Pretty much eating in any restaurant without my children.


Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow

Books (digital and analog, but mostly analog: the heft of the pages, the object-ness of it)

Mother, brother, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles: what a comfort, to have this extended family. It reminds me always of the net suspended beneath trapeze artists: it’s there to catch you when you fall.

Beautiful shoes

Hearing the call to prayer waft over the city,  reminding me that I live outside my regular life

Things made with butter

Live opera. Also, live Springsteen

Brandi Carlile, Delta Spirit, Habib Koite, Paul Simon’s “Graceland” — the current faves now in rotation

Singing along to loud music (see above) while driving (alone)

The sound of my kids scrabbling through a box of Legos, because when the Legos go silent, their childhood is over

Murray Perahia playing Scarlatti, Handel, Bach

The ocean. Thus also, the beach.




Continue Reading · on July 12, 2012 in Abu Dhabi, Monday Listicle

And a Happy Valentine’s To You, Too

So it was Valentine’s Day the other day, which on the elementary school level apparently translates to EAT CANDY. When did Valentine’s become a kind of red heart-shaped Halloween-esque sugar fest?

Lest I overlook the dangers of too much sugar, my Firefox browser popped me a little memento mori:

Well, shit. When you put it that way, I guess I could say no to polishing off that box of chocolates.

Of course, if I’m gonna die today, then what better way to go than with chocolate absinthe truffles smeared across my face?

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Continue Reading · on February 16, 2011 in tech life

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