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Tag Archives | friendships

Reverb #17: Learning

Oh good lord. Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I learned that questions like this irk me, partly because it seems really hard to point to A Thing I Learned, to one discrete lesson or “aha” moment. I’m not Oprah, after all.

That said, however, a few things have crawled into the margins of my consciousness–not all things I’ve learned, necessarily–more remembered and put into practice.

It’s easier to keep writing than to start writing. Which means that I should write every day and that once I’m over the hurdle of starting something (so painful, so slow, so what-the-hell-am-I-wanting-to-say), I must keep at it instead of letting my own writing slide to the bottom of the Important Stuff list. Kfitz, at Planned Obsolence, has a pretty similar thought–once something is started, it’s a lot easier to keep it going.

Same principle: easier to keep exercising than to stop for a few months and then get back in the rhythm.  Don’t laugh, but sweating makes me happy. I’m a bit of an endorphin junkie, and while I’m never going to be a marathoner or a triathaloner (yes, Cabot, and Suzie, people of steel, I’m talking you) my little yoga class keeps me happily sweat-soaked.

What else? I learned a few not so nice things about myself, having to do with temper (too much) and patience (not enough), but as Scarlett likes to say (O’H, not J), “I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

I’ve learned I can hold down the fort while husband travels, and I’ve learned that without a group of friends to rely for all-important battery recharging, I’m useless.

So that’s the plan, going forward: keep writing, keep yoga-ing, keep with the friends.  Gosh. A gal could think that maybe a balanced life is within her reach. Or at least being less stressed about being OUT of balance.

Continue Reading · on December 19, 2010 in reverb10

Reverb #16: Friendship

More reverbs. All this seasonal reflection is making me, well, reflective, and in conjunction with doing more yoga, I’m starting to feel all centered and shit. Weird. Although just for the record, the reason I’m doing more yoga is that A) this studio is 6 minutes walk from my apartment; and B) the studio has a lot of hour-long classes, which make it easy to fit a class into my day.  Fairly Type A logic: yoga as efficient fitness practice.

But anyway. I was almost caught up with my reverbs and then…I got behind again. I think today is the 19th but I’m not entirely sure – there was a three-person 10 year old slumber party last night and, as a result, very little slumber for anyone, so all the particulars are a little hazy. Slumber party is a real misnomer, isn’t it? I mean, it should be go-apeshit-all-night-long party, actually. As if they’re all practicing for frat parties or something equally awful.

The prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I don’t think one friend has had a whammy of an impact. Instead it’s been a kind of slow accrual, learning (or hoping to learn) from the good qualities each of my friends offers–to me, to their families, to the world. C’s zen, K’s optimism, J’s generosity, S’s self-reflection, H’s perseverance, A’s loyalty–and don’t even get me started on what I learn from my mom…A pretty marvelous group. all told.

Learning from these women (with the exception of my mother and my sister, who I’ve been learning from all my life), is a gradual thing. This past spring, though, in those few weeks where it looked like we might really pick up and move to flyover country, there was a burst–a veritable flash–when I realized what a wrench it would be to leave my little network of Big City friends.We’re not quite a “Sex in the City” crew  – we’re, ahem, a tad too old, and if any of us wears heels more than 2″ high, there’s hell to pay with backaches the next day.

Has anything changed, dramatically, as a result of having these friends? Well, no, probably  not, other than my continued awareness that having this group of friends is pretty high on my short list of “really good stuff in my life.”

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Continue Reading · on December 19, 2010 in reverb10

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