Who Needs Directions? We Have GPS

Setting: the interior of a rental Impala on a snowy morning in a medium-sized Midwestern town

Players: a husband and wife, neither of whom are familiar with the town; and the GPS, whom the husband and wife call Doris, which came with the rental car.

Doris: Turn right on Miami Road.

Wife: There’s the sign. You should turn.

Husband: I’m turning, I’m turning.

Doris: Continue straight on Miami Road.

Wife: There’s the entrance to the school. On the left.

Husband: Doris says go straight.

Wife: That’s the entrance. On the left. There.

Husband: Doris says go straight.

Wife: Well, okay, but we just passed the entrance.

Husband: Maybe there’s another entrance up ahead.

Wife: That was the entrance. Back there. On your left. We just passed it.

Husband: Doris must be broken.

Wife:  You’re right.  Doris probably just didn’t see the entrance sign and the big arrow pointing into the gate.

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5 Responses to Who Needs Directions? We Have GPS

  1. KSB February 18, 2010 at 3:17 am #

    Heh heh, I hear you! My brother and sister-in-law gave me one of these for my brithday, and while I do like having a backup for times when I end up in unfamiliar neighborhoods, I have to admit, I have yelled at it more than once for steering me the longer route or the way with the most expensive tolls. My guess about your case: Doris wasn’t broken, and did see the entrance sign; Doris just didn’t think you could make a left there, and thus, had you go miles and miles further until you got to an intersection with a legal U-turn, or had you go the long route for a P turn. Welcome to my world! ;P

  2. deborahlquinn February 18, 2010 at 7:27 am #

    @ksb: well…actually, regardless of what Doris thought, I think in this story the husband simply ignored the proverbial ocular proof of the entrance on his left, disregarded the instructions of the wife, and believed Doris instead. Doris wasn’t broken. I think the driver was. : )

  3. HCW February 18, 2010 at 2:47 pm #

    Our gps has no name, except a string of bad words. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But husband swears by it, despite the many wrong turns it has made us take and countless fights we have over that stupid piece of technology. Things work much better for us, when I drive and he gives directions using a good old fashioned map.

  4. KSB February 18, 2010 at 7:47 pm #

    @Deborah: I concur with your final diagnosis! To listen to Doris instead of sensible wife, gasp, BIG no-no. I’m sure you fixed the broken driver without delay–hope the course of treatment your diagnosis called for wasn’t too costly! ; )

  5. Dick Horwich February 18, 2010 at 9:34 pm #

    So Doris is the proverbial Other Woman? You’re having a contest of will with something that cost $200 at J&R? Ours is named Nuvi, and we’re both equally fond though skeptical of her. There’s a highway out our way that used to be County Road 39 until it was renamed POW-MIA Highway. Nuvi pronounces it as though those were words: [comic-book] “Pow!” followed by “Meeya.”

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