four months

no, I’m not pregnant. it’s just that in the beginning of the fourth month, if you are pregnant, you can kind of let your breath out. the worry of the first trimester is over and now (usually inshallah and knock on wood), you can just settle into the “new normal” of losing your waistline and growing your appetite.  It’s our fourth-month anniversary of moving to Abu Dhabi and I’m feeling myself let my breath out…but this time, part of why I can do that has to do with these boys–not babies any more–who have helped ease my own transition. This letter is for them.

My dear boys,

Today we have lived in Abu Dhabi for four months.  In that span of time, we’ve had to evacuate our building in the middle of the night (down 37 flights of stairs, on September 11th, no less!); we’ve traveled in India, explored the oasis city of Al Ain, kayaked in a mangrove swamp during a lunar eclipse, and one of us (lucky dog sixth grader) spent a week in Ephesus.

These adventures are nothing, however,  compared to the everyday adventure of establishing our new lives in Abu Dhabi.  The little things were, in some ways, the most difficult: we couldn’t find the right sheets for your beds, or the right pillows (note to self: when repatriating family, bring your own linens, even if you’re moving into a furnished apartment).  Our great quest for Toys R Us was a bust: no up-to-date legos, no Nerf basketball.  On the other hand, the Toys R Us is linked to a Tru-Value hardware store, so we didn’t find Nerf but I found all-important bathroom hooks and a new spatula.  We sorted out grocery stores, bookstores, and spent more hours than I’m sure you care to remember wandering the aisles of Ikea.

In four short months, the two of you started a new school, made new friends, joined new soccer teams, learned to love butter chicken from Moti Mahal Deluxe and any form of Lebanese chicken shish tawook.  You found the humor in our endless quest to find decent pizza, and you’ve found the joy in walking to the naan bakery for fresh bread.

You settled in. You figured it out. And then a few weeks ago, we asked you to change again and start a new school in January. You grumbled, you griped, there were tears.  Maybe even a few slammed doors.  But the other morning, when I dropped you off for your “come meet your new teacher day,” off you went, smiling, heads held high, arms around each others shoulders.

The two of you have spent more time together in the last four months than you have in years.  There aren’t as many friends clamoring for attention, or as many activities—we move more slowly here than we did in New York.  Together the two of you could fuel a city with your creative energies: building lego ships and towers more elaborate than any store-bought set; writing and illustrating stories, creating computer games, building sand castles that stretch half the length of the beach.  And okay, sometimes you use that creative energy to annoy the living crap out of each other, which is probably to be expected, right?  But do you really, really have to argue debate—in ever louder voices—about the possibility of a mouse surviving a sandstorm?

Bicker McBickersons notwithstanding, the two of you have astonished and impressed me over the last four months. Your curiosity, (relative) good humor, and resilience have helped me to survive this transition.  Even when you’re making me angry—as when one of you screamed “shit head” the other night—I’m still impressed: you yelled it in Arabic.

I hope you both feel as proud of yourselves as I feel of you.

Love, Mommy

ps: say “shit head” again, in any language, and you’re toast.

it’s lovelinks time! i’m linking up and you should too! click this nifty button and bring your blog over to the linkup! Or don’t bring your blog, just come read some funny smart writing…then come back on Thursday and vote for your three favorites. It’s a lot easier than holiday shopping, I guarantee!

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15 Responses to four months

  1. Erica M December 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm #

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post, and I love how you present the concept of lovelinks to your readers each time you link up. Thanks for being such an enthusiastic supporter!

  2. a Book for My Daughter December 13, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    What a wonderful way to document this moment in time for your children! I truly enjoyed reading it, and it left me wanting to read more—to know more—about your life in the UAE. What made you move there? Why did your boys have to switch schools? I guess I need to go back to your previous posts to find out—can’t wait!

  3. Laura@Catharsis December 13, 2011 at 5:25 pm #

    I’ve never moved anywhere out of my home country, but I can attest to the difficulty of moving away from home. Discovering all those little things, like the grocery store, can be difficult. I think the four month timeline is a good comparison to use.

  4. Kindred Adventures December 13, 2011 at 10:23 pm #

    What an amazing opportunity for you and your family. Certainly something special. I can only imagine the fantastic impact this time will have on your children… even with the tears and potty mouth 😉 I love the analogy to the four months and the letter to your boys. What an amazing adventure! One you will all remember forever and it sounds like it has been worth it.

  5. Alison@Mama Wants This December 14, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    Children are remarkably adaptable and resilient aren’t they? 🙂 And shouting shit head in Arabic?? Mighty impressive! (I gotta ask my husband how to say that)

  6. Ado December 14, 2011 at 10:36 am #

    Oh my God – Bicker McBickersons is our middle/last name too! The best part is how the two brothers have had this opportunity to bond and know each other better than they have in years. What an exotic life you are giving them, but really what a simple back-to-basics one too, you know? Also if you ever need me to send you anything from the States just let me know – more than happy to send linens, Toys R’ Us Legos, Snickers…whatever. (-:

  7. January December 14, 2011 at 6:58 pm #

    Wow…I’m so impressed with your boys regardless of the bicker mcbickerson issues. Swearing in Arabic? That’s awesome. I have 2 boys under 4 and they simultaneously love each other, crack each other up and then hate each other. I feel super lucky that they (mostly) love each other though and I really hope it stays that way as they get older.

  8. anna ~ random handprints December 14, 2011 at 8:42 pm #

    your kids are so awesome. and now i want butter chicken. and to expose my children to something besides the high culture of new jersey. and of course, to hear them curse in a language besides english. that would be nice too.

  9. A Morning Grouch December 14, 2011 at 9:34 pm #

    Amazing how transitions are easier sometimes for the younger ones, than for us, isn’t it? Sounds like you have awesome kids.

  10. Lady Jennie December 15, 2011 at 6:25 am #

    Bravo kids!! Well done.

  11. Mommy2¢ December 15, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    Such an amazing journey your boys are on! If they don’t realize it yet, they will one day! 🙂

  12. Jamie December 15, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    I am proud of you and those boys. What an amazing journey you have taken them on. A lifetime experience you can’t just read about. Brothers, boys, truly are something, aren’t they?

  13. Kristen December 15, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

    I am so impressed with your boys abilities to make such a big change in their lives. I’m with you on the sheets and pillows. No one has them the way I like them. It never feels like my bed without them.
    I am also so impressed at what is in front of your boys as they grow. What an amazing opportunity! Much luck with continued success and no swearing in any language 😉

  14. Katy Niels August 12, 2015 at 3:58 pm #

    It is really amazing how the kids are so adaptable and can easily accept the changes in their life. Moving to a new place is most of the time difficult for the kids so you really have luck with yours that are so flexible. Thank you for sharing your experience! 🙂


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